Full Metal Lunchbox

 
It's about 2AM Friday night and I've been on a conference call with work for the past 2 1/2 hours working a systems migration.  My part in this process is small, but I have to constantly pay attention so I'm ready when they call my name.  Hopefully I'll be done before sunrise.  I've started dialing back my caffeine intake just in case.

So here I sit in my livingroom; two laptops open in front of me and two pugs asleep next to me (with a third staring at me from across the room).  My video has been paused for nearly an hour because I keep thinking they are going to say my name on the conference call and I don't want to appear to be sleepy (which I'm not) or distracted (which I am).  My next task is step #16, but these folks have been on step #15 for freaking forever.  "C'mon, people!" I want to say.  "I've got TV I want to watch."

While I'm waiting, I'm going to do something here that I never, ever do.  I'm going to answer a blog "tag."  (Only because it was you who asked, Denise.)

My ABC's.....

A- Attached or Single?  Attached

B- Best Friend:  My imaginary friend Cletus

C- Cake or Pie:  raw cookie dough

D- Drink of Choice:  Who's buying?

E- Essential Item:  sense of humor (I keep losing it)

F- Favorite Color:  Red 'cus I'm a commie

G- Gummi Bears or Worms? Years ago in the Newark airport I enjoyed a "Gummi Rat."

H- Hometown:  Sweet Home Chicago(tm).  Escape is impossible.  Believe me, I've tried three times already.

I- Indulgence:  Minding my own business

J- January or February:  Fuck January and February.

K- Kids:  One full-time pug and two loaners

L- Life is incomplete without: dim sum

M- Marriage Date:  What's the temperature in hell?

N- Number of Siblings:  One younger brother who doesn't like me very much.  But that's OK because I still have my imaginary friend Cletus.

O- Oranges or Apples?  I don't see how I can compare them.

P- Phobias/Fears:  Bland food.  Seriously, it gives me nightmares.

Q- Favorite Quote:  "Do good things and good things will happen." -Mick Gley

R- Reasons to smile:  Wonderful girlfriend who moved here to be with me, snoring pugs, deep dish pizza, Cantillon sour muscat lambic beer, decent Chinese food, my close friends, and many other people and things.

S- Season:  Fall

T- Tag Three:  Dick, Condi, and Rumsfeld.

U- Unknown Fact About Me:  I was a professional actor at age 10, but I never got to do drugs with Drew Barrymore.

V-Vegetarian or Not:  I love cows but eat them anyway.  I hate soybeans but eat them even more.  (I also hate the dumbass preppy war criminals who got us into the stupid billion dollar-wasting 100,000 civilian death-causing Iraq embarassment, but I don't want to eat them.  I do love America but can't eat it because Wisconsin gives me gas.)

W- Worst Habit:  Biting the heads off of live chickens

X – X-rays or Ultrasounds?  My HMO only covers Etch-a-Sketch.

Y- Your Favorite Foods:  General Tso's Chicken, Harold's Fried Chicken, a good vegetarian black bean burger with avocado, raw pizza from Karyn's Raw Foods, decent sushi (hard to find in Chicago), good bloody mary (even harder to find), my mom's chocolate matzo crisps, grilled eggplant, and many other things

Z- Zodiac:  sign of the Pug

That's it now.  Never tag me again.


Just completed step #16 at last.  Now I can put my call on mute and go back to watching old episodes of Gilmore Girls until we reach step #22.

Don't you all just want my life?