Full Metal Lunchbox

Some of you might think that I'm all business here at pugpaw.com. But all work and no play makes Josh yadda yadda yadda. Fortunately beer has the magic power to turn a not-quite workaholic into a not-quite alcoholic. Here's how it goes:

The stage is set with a visit to Liquor Stop, a beer lover's heaven in the middle of NW Indiana hell.









As you can see here, our shopping trip left Jay with a fridge full of beer. The situation was desperate -- where to put all this stuff?  Fortunately Jay had a plan: the Alcoholics Reunion Party.

The idea was simple enough. All we had to do was drink up Jay's overstock from the past year. What we didn't count on is that Jay is highly organized when it comes to drinking beer.

Here is Jay's beer agenda for the evening.  This photo was taken halfway through the 18 beers we had to sample, and you can see my crazy handwritten notes.



Let me tell you something: you really learn a lot about a bunch of guys when you sit them at the table and make them drink that much beer!  But I'm getting ahead of myself.




The first few rounds went pretty well.  Jay started us out with some nice ales before moving us on to some flavorful IPA's.  The conversation was pleasant and for the first 7 rounds it was like any other night drinking with my co-workers.  We made fun of management, told off-color jokes, the usual guy talk.  Good times.




I think it was about the time we got to the Brouwerij Huyghe Delirium Noel (1 year old) that each of us gradually started to become unglued.  I started to lose my focus and instead of writing down tasting notes I started to transcribe random gibberish, such as this exchange between Jay and Brian:

Jay:  "It's really good for you to communicate with your senses."
Brian:  "Whoa, that's like Vince Vaughn broke up with Jennifer Aniston... oh, shit!"

Meanwhile Weyerbacher's Insanity Barley Wine lived up to it's name with an 11% ABV content!  By the time we got to the Yeti Imperial Stout our conversation had completely lost its structure.





Here's what that looked like:


And believe me, that's tame compared to what I'm NOT going to include here (including the infamous "North Korea" incident).



Fortunately heavy drinking doesn't require intelligent conversation.

Just some beer and a dream.

(Gosh, I'm getting a bit misty-eyed here.  I'm the sentimental type.)



Eventually the emergency relief alcoholics showed up to help us make it through our list, but it was too late.  The environment was already saturated with alcohol and there was nothing more we could do.

Our final beer was Lost Abbey Avant Garde Ale.  Joe put it best when he remarked, "It smells like wet diapers."  And that it did.  And that's where we ended our evening.

In the end we only made it through 16 of the 18 beers on Jay's agenda.  But considering that most of us were lightweights and not real alcoholics, I still think that's pretty impressive.

Manh was nice enough to drive me home in his Audi (heated seats!) and by the time I got home the hangover had already set in.  It was a vicious, mean, relentless college-style hangover that made it difficult to climb the stairs to my apartment--not to mention deal with three excitable dogs.  But after a nice drunken phone call with someone special and four aspirin and something like 64oz of water I was able to get to sleep.  I woke up this morning feeling just fine.



Lesson's Learned:

• Don't pretend to be a hard drinker if you're not -- unless it's fun.
  
• Make friends with people who seriously collect rare beer.
  
• In wintertime it's good to get a ride home with the dude with the heated seats.
  
• Barley Wine no no no no no.
  
• Jokes about North Korea aren't cool.
  
• When in doubt trust your instincts: a greasy burrito really does help.

I hope you will all learn something from my experience.




Note that the video included above was not fully processed by YouTube at the time of this posting.  If you don't see it, try back later.