Full Metal Lunchbox

 


Well, it's January, and if you are like me and most other people you are probably dead broke from the holidays.  OK, maybe you're not ready to file for bankruptcy just yet, but admit it: you are just a little nervous about the unopened credit card bills on your desk you've been ignoring.

I myself plan on winning the lottery soon -- just as soon as I get the nerve up to play.

But since the odds of any of you winning the jackpot are pretty low, I thought this might be a nice opportunity to lead you all in a bit of fantasy.





Those of you older than your mid-30's might remember the television show "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous," starring Robin Leach, the racist dickhead who spent the 1980's taking us on televised visits to the idle rich while Ronald Reagan made sure they didn't have to pay any taxes.

For today's blog entry, I've decided to share some snippets on how the other half lives.





House in a Hill


Let's begin at home.  Specifically, the home of the world's richest couple, Bill and Melinda Gates.

The estate, one of the largest and most expensive in the world, does not appear to be very large at first glance.  That's because much of the 66,000 sq. ft. collection of structures are built into a hillside.

Acquisition of the land and construction of the buildings took seven years and cost $113 million.  More than 300 workers, including 104 electricians, were involved in construction.

Visitors to the estate are issued RFID chips that track their movements throughout the estate.  Depending on visitor preferences, the thermostat and ambient music selections vary as the visitor moves from room to room.  

This estate has far too many features (some cool, some ridiculous) to write about.  My favorite: the master bathtub can be filled to the right temperature and depth by Gates as he drives home from work.

Click here for a live aerial view of the estate.

Click here for a room by room illustration and description of features.





Rich vs. Republican


Interestingly, William Gates, Sr. (father of Bill Gates) is against the repeal of the federal estate tax.  In an article in USA Today, Gates says,

The wealthy should pay the tax because they owe a special debt. Their riches would not be possible without a strong society supporting capitalism.

  Apparently Bill Sr. isn't the only rich guy who feels this way.  Warren Buffet and many others have been fighting Republican efforts to have the estate tax repealed.

Only about 2% of estates qualify for the tax each year, which raises $30 billion in federal revenue.  Thanks to the richguy wanna-be's in congress, this tax is being reduced year-by-year until 2010, when it will actually be temporarily repealed before reverting to the rate charged in 2001.  (To my wealthier readers: try to die in 2010!)  So far, no law has passed permanently repealing this special tax for the rich and fabulous... thanks in part to the efforts of a bunch of rich guys.





Don't you have anything better to do with your money?


One of my favorite money-wasting rich guys is Paul Allen.

Paul Allen is well-known as a co-founder of Microsoft, owner of the Seattle Seahawks, and a majority shareholder of Dreamworks Studios.  In his spare time recently he sponsored a spaceship and bulldozed a kid's summer camp.  All of these things set Paul Allen apart from other rich guys.

But what really fascinates me about this guy is his yacht, the Octopus.

This $200 million megaphallusyacht features two helicopters, a crew of 60, it's own movie theatre, and professional recording studio.  Yacht watchers envy this boat for its superswank glass-bottomed rec room.  But what I find particularly marvelous is the submarine bay below the aft deck.  (The submarine itself sleeps eight!)

Amazingly, Paul Allen owns at least two other of the ten largest yachts in the world.





What if you are not as rich as Paul Allen but have more style?


I know what you are probably thinking, dear reader.  You suspect that I mock Paul Allen and his ilk because I am jealous and actually want to own a yacht of my own.

Well, suppose that might be true.  I would enjoy a luxury motor vessel of my own with which to cruise up and down the Riviera and show up at Cannes for the best cocktail parties.  Wouldn't you?



But I don't think I would require one (or three!) of the world's largest yachts.  In fact, I would be perfectly happy with this one.  While procrastinating at work tonight I spent a lot of time looking at yachts, and this was the only one I could find designed with any taste whatsoever.  The furniture and interior features were inspired by the Arts and Crafts movement, rather than the tasteless Trump-esque garishness one finds on most luxury boats.  And best of all: the deck layout was engineered with dogs in mind--perfect for taking a cruise with the pugs!





OK, daydreaming time is over.  Back to work now!

I may not be rich, but at least I have the weekend coming up.  Plenty of time for daydreaming.




Note: I had intended to cite the numerous sources I used for this blog post but forgot because I was too tired.  I work at night, you know.  This footnote serves as a general disclaimer of accuracy.  Readers are encouraged to double-check my facts.  Especially concerning Paul Allen, who is in fact a terrific human being and whom I would nominate as the first cvilian to be permanently sent into space.  When the time comes perhaps he will turn one of his yachts into a summer camp.