Full Metal Lunchbox

I had a thought the other week, when I was still waiting to hear about my status with the bank: if I'm surrounded by thousands of people who have real jobs, why can't I seem to get one?

I guess it had to happen sooner or later. If I continued consulting in this economy, I might have eventually ended upliving on canned goods.

Fortunately I now have an official start date: February 14.

I'll be working days at first, and then evenings. Eventually I'll slide into my permanent shift of midnight to 8:00AM.

I don't yet know how this is going to work. Here are some questions I have:

** What will it be like for me to eat dinner with my dearest Justyna when it feels like breakfast to me?

** Are there any 24 hour restaurants in downtown Chicago? Will I starve to death if I forget to bring my lunch?

** How will I take a coffee break when all the Starbucks are closed? And what will I do with all the money I save from not going to Starbucks anymore?

** How will I share my joy from the new job when I'm not allowed to bring a camera anywhere near my work area?

** When will I see my friends again?

Here are some questions that some of you have already asked me:

Q: Are tanning minutes included with the job?
A: No, but I plan on absorbing lots of CRT monitor radiation for that healthy glow.

Q: How will you deal with working nights in Elgin?
A: I wont be working in Elgin. That's just what I'll be doing until my consulting assignment finishes up and my permanent job begins.

Q: C'mon, you're not really working nights, are you?
A: Yep, it's true.

Q: What are you nuts?
A: Nope, just in debt and sick of consulting.

Q: Does this mean you'll be able to stay awake for weekend parties?
A: I hope so, because any night I'm not working will be a party.

Let me know if you have any more questions.

I took the JP Morgan new hire online orientation today. It was a total trip! I'm embarassed to say that I got many of the multiple-choice questions about diversity and ethics incorrect. Hopefully the bank wont object to my being unfair and unethical. They seem to be more interested in checking my credit (gulp) getting my fingerprints, and having me pee in a cup.